The guidance of Islam regarding marriage does not begin with the commandments of marriage; rather, it begins with the mention of the creation and raising of man. In the Holy Quran, Allah, the Almighty, says in Surah An-Nisa:
یَآ اَیُّہَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوْا رَبَّکُمُ الَّذِیْ خَلَقَکُمْ مِّنْ نَّفْسٍ وَّاحِدَۃٍ وَّخَلَقَ مِنْا زَوْجَہَا وَبَثَّ مِنْہُمَا رِجَالًا کَثِیْرًا وَّنِسَآئً وَاتَّقُوا اللّٰہَ الَّذِیْ تَسَآئَلُوْنَ بِہٖ وَالْاَرْحَامَ اِنَّ اللّٰہَ کَانَ عَلَیْکُمْ رَقِیْبًا۔
O people! Fear your Lord, who created you from a single soul and created from it its mate and from them both spread many men and women. Fear Allah, through whom you demand your rights from one another, and avoid harming the ties of kinship. Indeed, Allah is watching over you.
The verse describes the power and strength of Allah Almighty, who has organized human society in a unique way, by transforming the desolation of the world into a population with the help of a single person, Adam (peace be upon him), and without any external help, made man the means for it, thus man transformed from a single person into a society. Shah Waliullah Muhaddith Dehlvi (may Allah have mercy on him) says that Allah Almighty created some creatures that do not need pairs, those creatures are created from dust, such as insects. There are some creatures that are made from dust and turn into pairs, such as flies, etc. Among all these creatures, man is a creature that is formed by the union of a pair.
Human Creation and Natural Inclination
Allah created man and divided him into two sexes (male and female) and created a natural inclination for each other in both; so that this inclination brings both of them closer to each other and this closeness can become a means of increasing the human race. Both men and women cannot live without each other. Allah Almighty has placed such a natural inclination in them that forces them to be one and this couple itself becomes an easy means of family, society and population. This natural inclination was not created in any specific region or any specific creature; rather, He created it in all creatures, including holy figures like prophets, companions, followers, Imams, Sufis, elders, scholars, Muslims, non-Muslims, cattle, animals, birds, beasts and sea creatures.
The inclination of men and women towards each other is not surprising; Rather, it is a natural process, Islam has not imposed any ban on this matter. If this were the case, there would be a contradiction between Islam and nature; however, Islam is a religion consisting of completely natural teachings and supports all matters that take nature into account and does not make any demands on its followers that would necessitate suppressing natural needs.
Of course, rejecting natural feelings can never be a source of good, whenever such an attempt was made, the worst reaction was seen. Many such slogans were raised in the world that denied this need in the name of religion, among which Christianity’s monasticism is at the forefront, who denied natural needs in the name of struggle and subduing the psychic forces, the result of which was manifested in the form of corruption and corruption of their religion and the world.
Islam considered shame, modesty and chastity as an ornament for man, even the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If you have no modesty left, do as you wish.” In order to obtain this precious commodity like modesty, Islamic law presented a blessed concept like “Nikah”, through which the attainment of modesty and chastity can be made possible, and the people participating in this act of marriage become capable of living a pure life.
The difference between marriage and adultery
The question arises as to how this requirement should be fulfilled? One way was to give each individual the freedom to choose for himself whenever he wants and fulfill this need by mutual consent. Sharia strongly rejects this method and calls this act a worst act, namely “adultery”. In fact, engaging in adultery for a few hours is a rebellion against the natural principles of the Creator of the universe for which marriage has been ordained, through which humans settle in the world in a lawful and legitimate manner. That is why Sharia adopts a very strict attitude towards adultery and prescribes exemplary punishments for the wrongdoers.
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In addition, adultery is essentially an irresponsible act in which a man and a woman accept each other temporarily and after enjoying each other, they do not want to see each other again, as a result of which neither the man accepts any responsibility for the woman nor the woman has any desire to serve the man. In this way, both of them become guilty of violating the natural principles of the universe and their act becomes a corruption for the world and the people living in it.
While the Sharia did not limit this union to sexual satisfaction only; rather, by giving it a complete and permanent form, it bound both of them to this agreement, in which the man is responsible for earning a living, providing food and maintenance, shelter and clothing, and the woman is responsible for pregnancy, breastfeeding and raising the child in her arms.
It also obliged them that both of them should face all the issues of life together, pain and sorrow, sorrow and joy, happiness and sorrow, happiness and sorrow, and cold and hot situations. Both of them will be equal partners in their decisions and every decision of theirs will be in favor of both of them. The Holy Quran has explained this relationship of spouses with a beautiful example: “They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them” (Surah Al-Baqarah). As much as clothing is necessary for the body, similarly the companionship of husband and wife is necessary for each other; so that together they can lay the foundation of a righteous society.
Therefore, the Shariah completely rejected this abominable and corrupt practice of adultery and presented a universal and simple concept of “marriage”, in which the woman is released under mutual consent, the guardianship of the parties and the fair distribution of rights. This is such a blessed practice that all the prophets (peace be upon them) participated in it. The Holy Quran describes this life of the prophets in this way: And We sent messengers before you and We made for them spouses and offspring (Ar-Ra’d: 3) Translation: We sent many messengers before you and We made for them spouses and offspring.
Common Sunnah of the Prophets
Four things are the common Sunnah of the Prophets: 1- Modesty 2- Fragrance 3- Toothbrush 4- Marriage And while attributing this act to His Blessed Self, He said: “Marriage is my way.” Translation: “Marriage is my way.” (Mishkat)
Marriage is a simple act and not just a means of sexual gratification; rather, it has the status of an act of worship that directly affects a person’s spiritual, moral and social life. The benefits of marriage are mentioned below from these different perspectives.
Physical and Psychological Benefits of Marriage
The benefits of marriage are also found in the human body and health. The use of a substance in the form of a force in the right place is a great cause of mental peace and physical comfort, if this substance is not removed from the human body, it can bring fatigue to the mind. Similarly, since a person is tired and bored due to continuous work and busyness, he ultimately needs a mental peace, heart satisfaction and entertainment, such entertainment that can change his sad mood into love, affection and freshness. Allah, the Almighty, has given the best solution to this psychological confusion through marriage: And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, to dwell in them and to love and mercy. Translation: “And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves; So that you may find comfort in them and create love between you both. (Surah Ar-Rum)
Here, comfort means mental and physical comfort, which is needed by both men and women.
Allah, the Almighty, has mentioned His special servants in the Holy Quran as follows: They pray to Me (Our Lord, grant us from our wives and offspring a refreshment of the eyes) (Surah Furqan)
That is, My special servants are those who are concerned about their homes, wives, and children and pray that O Allah, grant them such character and morals that as soon as they enter the house, their nature becomes cheerful and their eyes become cool upon seeing this sight. Hazrat Umar Farooq (may Allah be pleased with him) says: “A virtuous woman is the greatest wealth after faith.”
Spiritual Benefits of Marriage
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: O youth, those of you who are unable to marry, for it is the best for sight, and the best for orgasm, and whoever He was not able to do it by fasting, so it came to him (Sahih Al-Bukhari: 5066, and Sahih Muslim: 1400).
Translation: O community of youth! Whoever among you is able to do so should marry, for it is a great restraint of the gaze and a great protection of the private parts. And whoever is unable to do so should fast, for this is an obstacle for him.
In the blessed hadith, the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) is addressing the youth of the Ummah and encouraging them to get married. At the same time, he mentioned two great benefits of marriage: 1- Protection of the gaze 2- Protection of the private parts, both of which are great sources of corruption. The fabric of all matters of indecency begins with the gaze and ends in the form of adultery. All over the world, the winking of eyes by boys and girls ultimately leads to adultery; but if marriage is brought in the middle, this web of indecency continues to grow and a great chapter of fitnah is closed.
At one point, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: After me, there will be no more dangerous fitnah for the men of my nation than women (mishkat). Of course, the way to avoid this fitnah is the act of marriage, which automatically ends this fitnah and opens the way to the security of faith.
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “When a man marries, half of his faith is complete.” (Ihya’ al-Uloom) The most precious thing for a Muslim is the wealth of faith, and marriage is the best means of protecting this wealth.
Sufis say that the external corruption of a person is not elsewhere; rather, it lies in the internal organs of a person: 1- the stomach 2- the private parts.
Among them, the stomach is the center of forbidden consumption. From peons to global moneylenders, everyone around the world engages in usury, gambling, betting, bribery and theft to quench the fire of their stomachs; while the private parts are the main cause of widespread obscenity, in which electronic and print media, the advertising market, the abundance of mobile phones, the display of images, the easy and cheap availability of obscene materials, all are busy in the race to turn this natural need present in human beings into provocation. Regardless of all these tactics, Shariah puts water on the fire of all these temptations by emphasizing the promotion of marriage in a simple and easy way.
Marriage and Preservation of Lineage
Allama Shatibi has mentioned five objectives of Sharia in his famous book of agreements:
1- Preservation of religion, 2- Preservation of intellect, 3- Preservation of life, 4- Preservation of lineage, 5- Preservation of wealth
Among them, a great objective of religion is the preservation of lineage, which is preserved through marriage. If the act of marriage is lost, a great objective of religion will remain incomplete. Preservation of lineage is a permanent and detailed subject of Sharia on which the Holy Quran, the Holy Hadiths and the jurists have spoken in detail, and many subtle issues are related to this objective, in which changes are not permissible according to Sharia.
A true, real and complete picture of Islam is not possible to see only in the mosque; Rather, Islam is a system of life that seeks to establish a righteous society, and that society cannot be a good and constructive society at all where people are unaware of their identity or have the courage to change their identity. Islamic law has made an excellent arrangement for giving Allah’s servants their rights through the protection of lineage; so that no child is deprived of the love of parents, he receives the affection of his father and the affection of his mother equally, and he can be properly trained.
At the same time, there should be people among his close relatives who can encourage the child for correct behavior and warn him about shortcomings in a timely manner.
If this concept is ignored, then what kind of future will the child be able to build, who will make him understand good and evil, where will he be given quality education and training, where will he get the scolding of his grandmother and the pampering of his grandmother, who will give him the companionship of a brother and the sorrow of a sister? Of course, he will express these disenfranchised feelings by causing rebellion in society and will make everyone and everyone the target of his ignorance.
The Concept of Marriage in Islam and the Western Language
Since marriage is a social act; that is why the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) ordered that marriage be made public. He (ﷺ) said: “Announce this marriage and strike the drum on it.” (Sahih Ibn Majah: 1549) Translation: Announce this marriage and beat the drum on this occasion.
Since marriage is a social act, he preferred to perform it in front of everyone in the mosque. Also because although marriage is a promise and acceptance between two people; but its effects are universal, that is why its social and family status was also taken into account.
In Islamic society, a man and a woman are strangers to each other before marriage; but they start a long journey with mutual consent and as soon as this journey begins, their strangeness takes the form of a beautiful and pure couple. They are known as “husband” and “wife” by both men and women, and after some time, they transform into parents. When their laps shine with the blessing of children, they acquire the status of “mother” and “father”, after which they play the role of responsible parents and with their tireless work and struggle, their children become a good offspring and play a role of goodness for God’s earth.
As soon as we see it, a short couple turns into the relationships of parents, grandparents, maternal grandparents, son and daughter, siblings and aunts. In short, it is a beautiful chain of relationships in which the pearls of rights, connection, faith, love, kindness and kinship are woven. In this way, Islam transforms marriage into the strengthening of the family system and then into social reform.
The Western Family System
In the Western way of thinking, the way of life looks completely different, there the relationship of human beings with each other is not determined by relationships; but by purposes. Similarly, in them, both men and women are free in their lives, neither the man is under the protection of a father nor the woman is under the shadow of a well-wisher, the relationship in their lives is formed and deteriorated on the basis of experience, in which men establish relationships with different women and women with different men on the basis that if his character and morals are good, then it will be accepted as a final decision.
Sometimes, after hundreds of attempts, a success is achieved, by then there is an extraordinary difference in their age, ability and confidence. All this is if they decide on a relationship, otherwise they always prefer to live in an environment of freedom, as a result of which men always remain men and women always remain women, they do not find a place of sacred relationship throughout their lives and the opportunity of respect and honor where they are blessed with the loving and affectionate relationships of sister, wife, mother and grandmother.
She embarks on the journey of a girlfriend since puberty and remains someone’s girlfriend until middle age, she comes into contact only with those men who have become blinded by the fire of lust, she remains deprived of a true and loyal companion all her life. Thus, the West becomes the enemy of the family system in its own unity and this black face of its is hidden under the guise of materialism, the day the veil falls, there will be nothing left to save and wrap up.
Marriage is an urgent need and a necessity
The need for marriage begins after puberty and the human body requires this need as much as air, water and food. Just as it is against reason to postpone these basic needs, similarly it is an irrational decision for adults to postpone marriage. A person who is financially and physically capable of marriage and is also dominated by sexual power, marriage becomes an obligation for such a person. Imam Ghazali (may Allah have mercy on him) says in Ihya’ al-Uloom that marriage is as necessary for a pious, pious and prayerful person as for anyone else; because both are equal in terms of being a victim of temptation. The devil, whose job is to “stir up the hearts of people”, always entertains them with satanic thoughts, and it is not possible to escape from these thoughts even in worship such as prayer.
Misunderstandings about marriage
In our society, most of the people who have a basic understanding of religion and support scholars understand the importance of marriage very well and try to popularize this blessed act among their relatives. Seeing these efforts, some intellectuals say that “these clerics are very fond of marriage”. The point to think about is what is the reason why they rush into marriage and you sit quietly. Of course, the purpose of marriage is to protect your religion and faith and to avoid temptations, so don’t you worry about saving this precious capital? If not, then it is a matter of great regret and sorrow.
We see that the practice of sin is increasing, the habit of friendship between men and women has become common, the storm of shamelessness has spread, mixing in the markets, mixing in educational institutions, mixing in travel, mixing in the city, entertainment places are centers of shamelessness and opportunities for evil eyes have become common everywhere and people are boldly telling the story of their depravity and arrogance. When the environment of shamelessness reaches this level, modesty and its requirements can never be understood, Islam is certainly in favor of natural needs, but when nature itself is distorted, when thoughts and eyes are polluted, where is modesty, where is marriage, where is shame?
As mentioned, one of the major purposes of marriage is to be protected from temptations. Since this temptation is related to women, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also taught the way to protect oneself from this temptation in the form of supplications:
After presenting a glimpse of the importance, necessity and disadvantages of marriage, the following is intended to mention the issues related to the benefits of marriage, in which some mention of the family, social, physical and mental benefits of marriage is written.
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “There is nothing that creates love between two parties more than marriage.” (Mishkat)
Marriage is a process that connects two families who are not familiar with each other; but as soon as marriage takes place, they are called relatives. Their relationship of estrangement changes into a relationship of love and sympathy. Going forward, these families face many problems together.
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